


The Gazelle in Black

by srtlv



Category: Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)
Genre: Alexander & Mita BFF, Alexander Lemtov is gay, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:07:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26841130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/srtlv/pseuds/srtlv
Summary: Alexander Lemtov realizes he is about to meet Kevin Swain again in Edinburgh, and does not know what to think.Second chapter added to correspond to Lion of Love.
Relationships: Alexander Lemtov & Mita Xenakis, Alexander Lemtov/Kevin Swain, Sigrit Ericksdóttir & Alexander Lemtov
Comments: 13
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sister fic to Lion of Love, and tells what happens from Alexander's perspective, and slightly from Mita's as well (I know, so very Midnight Sun of me). I think it can probably also be enjoyed on it's own.  
> I would love to hear your comments!

“Here you go!”

“Thank you!” Mita takes the champagne glass that Alexander offers him and leans back on one of his ridiculous golden brocade antique sofas. She sips the champagne, which is first class, as Alexander’s champagne always is, and closes her eyes for a second. Finally she is in Edinburgh for the Eurovision, after weeks of preparation. And what better place to start the week than her friend’s palace. She has arrived in Edinburgh in the morning, checked out the arena, and then Alexander has sent a car to pick her up. It has been a few months since they last met. She has been looking forward to their friendly banter, this time punctuated with some Eurovision gossip. 

She inspects her perfectly manicured nails, wondering if it will hold until the final, or if she’ll need to get it redone before that. Then she remembers some news she heard in the morning. “Did you hear Iceland got Kevin Swain to direct?” Mita mentions this half-heartedly, barely thinking the piece of information interesting enough to divulge. 

Alexander sputters the champagne he is sipping. “Whaat? No, that’s not possible!”

Mita looks up from her nails, surprised by the reaction. “Yeah, must’ve cost them a fair deal, but seems they are desperate to not seem too backwards.”

Alexander is shaking his head. “No, Kevin Swain is not working in Eurovision this year, he is in the US!”. He wonders if Mita is pulling his leg, teasing him. But how would she know? They’ve never discussed the subject. 

Mita frowns with her perfectly plucked eyebrows. “No, I saw him at the arena earlier today, discussing with some people. He’s definitely here.”

“Are you sure? Maybe you mix him up with someone?”

“Kevin Swain? The man’s not very easy to miss. Tall, always dressed in black, flamboyantly gay? No, it was him. But why do you care?”

Alexander tries to compose himself, to look nonchalant. “Oh, I don’t.”

“Alexander, you just practically choked on your drink when I brought him up. Clearly you care. But why?” Then she realizes something. “Ooh, don’t tell me you tried to hire him yourself, and now you’re upset he’s working for someone else?” She knows Alexander always only wants the best, and since his success with the Australians the year before, Kevin Swain has been considered the best when it comes to Eurovision artistic directors.

“Nooo, no, nothing like that! I worked with him before, remember, in Budapest, two years ago?”

“Ah, that’s right, I’d forgotten about that! So what’s the problem then? You hate him, or what?”

Alexander mutters something to his drink. It sounds suspiciously like “Might be better if I did.”.

“What was that?” Mita sits up. She is curious now, excited, this sounds juicy. “Alexander, tell me!”

“No, it’s nothing. So what is their song like, Iceland?”

“Don’t try to change the subject! There’s clearly something here! Tell me! If you don’t tell me now, I will pester you about this the whole week!”

Alexander knows this is true. When Mita has gotten something in that pretty head of hers, she will not let it go – one of the reasons for her success. He sighs.

“Well, okay then. In Budapest we…. had a thing.”

“A thing?” Mita looks confused. “What thing? Like a fight, or…?” Then her eyes go wide with realization. “You slept with him! Oh my God, you slept with Kevin Swain!”. She half expects Alexander to deny this, but he doesn’t. “This is huge, how did I not know this?! I can’t believe you haven’t told me!”

Alexander shrugs. “I didn’t know you back then. And I don’t think anyone knows. We tried to be discreet.”

Mita can’t help giving an incredulous laugh. “Discreet? You and Kevin Swain? You are perhaps the two least modest and discreet people in Eurovision, and that’s saying something! How is this not out?”

Alexander pouts. “I can be discreet!”

“Yes, as evidenced by your Greek statues and your show.” Mita rolls her eyes. “So was this like a one-night thing?”

“Hmm… More like one-week thing.” Alexander looks pleased with himself (although doesn’t he always, thinks Mita). 

“You slept with him the whole week in the Budapest Eurovision and no-one knows? This is unbelievable!”. Mita still tries to wrap her head around this piece of news. “But what happened? Did it end badly?”

“Noo, it ended fine, I guess. It was all casual, and then I had to go back to Russia and he had to go back…somewhere, and then he worked with the Australians and then went to the US, and…we haven’t met since.”

“So if it was just casual and it ended fine, why are you spitting your champagne all over at the mere mention of his name?”

“I did not spit my champagne all over! I was just surprised. He wasn’t supposed to be here.”

“Aha, and you know exactly where he has been the last two years because…?”

Alexander rolls his blue eyes. “Okay, I may have…missed him a bit?”

“Alexander Lemtov! You fell for Kevin Swain!”. Mita looks delighted at this unexpected piece of information. “I still can’t believe I didn’t know! So why haven’t you kept in touch?”

“Mita, you know why. It’s not possible for me. And he comes from a different world. He can be with anyone, no one cares!”. There’s a sadness in Alexander’s eyes. Not for the first time, Mita feels a pang of deep sympathy for his friend.

“But he is here now! You could hook up, have some fun?” 

Alexander looks thoughtful. “I don’t know. It’s been two years, Mita. He might already have someone.”

”But does he? Have you stalked him in Insta? No wait, I have a better idea! My friend Adrian, the choreographer! He knows everyone in Eurovision, or at least everyone that’s gay. Let me check with him!”

Mita is still reeling from the news. Oh, the ways she can tease Alexander about this! She pulls out her phone, finds her friend, types: “ Sorry, weird question, is Kevin Swain single?”  
The reply comes back right away: “??? You’re not really his type.”  
“Haha. Asking for a friend. A male one.”  
“Never seen him with the same guy twice.”  
Then: “It’s Eurovision, he’s quite popular. Your friend might want to get a queuing number.” He’s added an eggplant emoji.

Alexander has been engrossed in his own phone in the meantime, trying to look like he doesn’t really care. Mita suddenly wants to hug him. He’s been into Kevin Swain this whole time, and she had no idea!

“It seems he’s at least not exclusive, but Adrian seems to think you might have some competition. He says you’ll need a queuing number.” She doesn’t mention the eggplant.

Alexander visibly brightens up at this information. He scoffs. “Me? If he’s single, I don’t need queuing numbers, I’m on top of anyone’s list.”

Oh, that guy! He needs to be taken down a notch. Mita shrugs. “As you said, it’s been two years. Maybe he’s just not into you anymore? Or can’t stand your terrible design choices. I think he might be too stylish for this environment.” She gestures around the ridiculously opulent room, decked in gold, brocade and velvet.

“Didn’t bother him in Budapest. And who’s not into me? Everyone’s into me! Especially if they’ve already slept with me!”

Mita rolls her eyes. “Yes, your modesty is one of your redeeming features. Well, are you going to give it a try, then?”

Alexander sighs. “Is maybe not a good idea. Probably not a good idea. Let’s talk about something else.”

And they continue to talk about other contestants, other acquaintances. But Alexander doesn’t seem to be able to shake the thought out of his head. Kevin Swain, in Edinburgh! 

*

He doesn’t get to meet Kevin for a few more days. He tries to have a look around the arena, inconspicuously, but their paths just don’t cross. Or maybe Mita was wrong after all, maybe she saw someone else? Alexander thinks this would be the better option. He should really focus on his career now. This is his chance to get more recognition outside of Russia, to sell more shows, to get out of the stifling atmosphere at his home country. To be more free. Although he knows most of his fans are in Russia; dear, conservative Russia. In Russia he is huge, in Europe he is not, at least not yet, and that means he can’t turn his back to his home country, even if it means hiding his true self. 

He throws a party. He always throws a party for Eurovision. Everyone will be there, and maybe also Kevin Swain? He meets the Icelanders, the ones Kevin works with, but does not meet Kevin. The Icelanders are kind of cute, amusing with their backwater ways. He invites them to the party. Maybe they will bring Kevin? They don’t, but as he is guiding them through the party, introducing them to everyone, he suddenly sees him. The tall, lean figure on the other side of the room, dressed in all black. Mita was right, after all. He feels his heart skip a beat, and then Kevin has spotted him, and is on his way over. 

“Kevi-in!” He realizes he sounds far too happy to see him, he should be more formal here, in the middle of everyone. 

“Kevin Swain, I think you know my full name!”, Kevin corrects instantly. Alexander realizes this might sound rude to others, but he knows it for what it is: a throwback to Budapest, their desperate attempt to keep everything distant and professional when others are present. It warms his heart. 

Kevin leans in to greet him with a kiss on the cheek. His cologne is the same, it floods Alexander with memories. 

“You shaved your cheek hair!”, Kevin scolds, surprised.

Alexander couldn’t be happier that he has noticed, remembered. “Oh yes, so smooth!”, he grins.

“Oh, I miss it!”, Kevin pretends to be pouting. Then he leans over to whisper in Alexander’s ear. “I wonder if it still feels as good against my neck as in Budapest?”

Alexander can hardly believe what he is hearing. Kevin is definitely still into him, flirting outrageously in public like this. “Oh, you naughty boy!”, he chuckles. 

“I know, I shouldn’t have said that!”. It seems even Kevin himself is surprised by what he has just done. He comments something about the Icelander’s dress. Alexander doesn’t even hear. He is still somewhere in his own world, Kevin’s words ringing in his ear. He exchanges meaningful looks with Kevin, tipsy on his attention. He needs time to process the whole interaction, maybe find Kevin later, flirt a bit more, and then… But right now he has no time for that, he has to focus on the party first. 

And later that evening he sings with Sigrit, the other Icelander, and suddenly he knows exactly what his career needs. He will forget about Kevin for now, at least try to, because this is more important. Sigrit doesn’t seem to understand that her talent is being held back by her partner. She must be made to see that. They could be great together, on stage. And how great it would look in press, in Russian newspapers and magazines! Alexander Lemtov, the most handsome pop sensation, and this new talented woman, beautiful, radiant. Together. All rumours silenced. They could conquer the world.

He really thinks this through. He talks about it to Mita. She is less impressed. Reminds him that for all he can give her, he can never give love. Even if he tried, he would always be looking for something else, because Sigrit would not be right for him. He knows Mita is right, but he has to at least try. Maybe it could work? He even uses his connections to give the Icelanders a small boost in the voting for semifinals. Nothing major, and they do surprisingly well without his help. Audiences always love an underdog, especially when they keep singing even after disaster strikes. He makes sure to sit with Sigrit in the green room, as her partner has gone missing, and while he is doing it to console his new friend, he certainly doesn’t mind the publicity. The Russian press the following morning is full of speculation of a Eurovision romance between them.

In the finals he feels giddy. On top of the world. During his performance he spots Kevin Swain watching backstage. He can’t help flirting with him a bit in the middle of his song. Then, suddenly, Kevin is not there anymore. He doesn’t know why, but at that moment he doesn’t care either. His performance is a success.

But that is the highlight of his evening. As soon as Alexander is off the stage, Sigrit confronts him about his sexuality. Why now, so suddenly? Did she see something? But this is not the time or place to discuss that, so he denies everything, vehemently. And then, as Sigrit is about to conquer the world, for herself and for them, her partner is suddenly back. Sigrit sings like she has never sang before, she sings about her love for her hometown and her partner, and in the end they kiss. Alexander realizes he has lost to this Icelandic oaf, but he is happy for them. The fairy-tale ending he will never have. Mita sees his pain, comforts him, invites him to Greece. Alexander shrugs, he could as well go, once the whole Eurovision thing is over.

And Alexander wins, of course he does. Did anyone doubt that? He did not. And yet, in the middle of all the celebrations, the flashlights, the fans, the congratulations, he suddenly feels very alone. The Icelanders have reminded him of what he will never have. He will never be able to kiss anyone on stage, or if he will, it will be for show, to once again redirect curious gazes, to silence rumours. He will lead this weird half-life, where he can either have his career or he can have love, but not both at the same time. And he knows which he will choose, as he has chosen every time so far.

He throws another party, to celebrate his win. Again, everyone is there. And him, alone, in the middle of the party, in the middle of people dancing on his dance floor, drinking his champagne, flirting with each other, coupling up. He suddenly realizes he has never felt so alone in his life. Ironic. He finally won, but it is lonely at the top.

Then he spots a familiar figure, tall, lean, dressed in black, alone on his terrace. Could he…? Surely he has deserved a bit of happiness, a bit of fun, after all this. What would it hurt? A night or two, maybe even a whole week? Or… He could take Kevin to Greece, rent a private island. This could be his treat for himself, the prize for working so hard and for winning. Before his rational side can intervene, he finds himself walking towards the other man, being pulled as if by a magnet.

“Kevi-in, what you doing here alone?” He tries to make it sound light.

Kevin turns around, raises his glass to him. “Congratulations, Alexander! You did it this time! Great show!” He smiles, but the smile is not as warm as Alexander expected. There is something reserved about it.

“Thank you. But why you here alone? Come join my party!”

Kevin does not look too enthusiastic. “I’m not really in the mood. The week has been quite a disaster, professionally.” 

In an instant Alexander realizes this is true, and that he has not even thought about it. But all of the Icelanders’ shows? Disasters! Or certainly not what was planned. Not a very good position to be in as a creative director. He can certainly understand why Kevin does not seem to be in a very good mood. But maybe he can fix that.

“Yes. But they have their happy ending”, he comments. 

Kevin shrugs. He doesn’t seem to care for the happy ending. “How did you become such a fan of them, anyway?”, he asks.

Alexander wonders if Kevin is jealous of the attention he has given Sigrit. He knows he has completely ignored Kevin after they flirted at the party. But he had no choice, it was for his career. And he is trying to make up for it now, does Kevin not see that? 

“Sigrit is an interesting woman with an incredible voice. We could have been great together. Besides, it look very good in press.” Alexander decides to up the ante. He gives Kevin one of the smouldering looks the other man was never able to resist in Budapest. “And they have the best director.”

It’s all in vain, Kevin is not even looking at him. “Who they completely chose to ignore most of the time”, he says. 

“Yes, Lars is an idiot”, Alexander shrugs.

A brief silence follows. This is not going at all according to Alexander’s plan. He envisioned a bit of easy flirting, like in the first party. A nice, steamy rendez-vous later. Right now that is not looking likely. He feels like he is flirting with an iceberg. Yet, if someone can melt an iceberg, it is Alexander Lemtov. He needs to bring in the big guns. 

“Kevi-in, you seem stressed, maybe you need a holiday?”

Kevin does not look too enthusiastic about this idea either. Come on, Kevin, give me at least something here, an opening, please, Alexander thinks. “After all this is done,” he continues gesturing towards the party, “I think I will go to Greece. Maybe get a yacht. It’s very nice and sunny. Great statues as well!”

Even this doesn’t get a reaction, it seems Kevin is not even properly listening to him.

“I could get a nice villa, on a private island. Maybe you should come?”

This, finally, gets a reaction. Kevin seems genuinely surprised. “I…what?”, he says, finally turning to look at Alexander. 

Alexander laughs to cover the fact that he is suddenly tense, unsure of where the discussion is headed to. He spreads his arms, knowing that Kevin has never been able to resist his bare chest. “I look fantastic with a tan. You should see!” Then he gives Kevin another smouldering look and lowers his voice to a purr. “You might enjoy it. Maybe even more than Budapest?”

This time it works. Kevin gives a surprised chuckle. “Oh, look who’s being naughty now!”. 

Finally, this is more like the response Alexander has been waiting for all along. He locks his gaze into Kevin’s brown eyes. “Maybe we should discuss this after the party?”. He leans over to whisper in his ear: “In my room?” 

He does not have time to register Kevin’s reaction. Suddenly a group of guests is heading over to congratulate, shouting his name, oblivious to interrupting something. Years of experience comes in handy; he has pulled back in an instant, is already on the way to meet the partygoers. They are too drunk to notice, they will never suspect anything. 

But he must know what Kevin thinks. He glances back. Kevin is looking directly at him, with the smallest smile on his lips. Then he nods slowly, almost imperceptibly, but it is a clear nod. Internally, Alexander gives a small sight of relief. He might yet get his prize. 

Now Alexander can’t wait for the end of the party. He talks to dozens of people, thanks them for their congratulations, and all the time he waits for the clock to move forward. A couple of times he meets Kevin’s eyes across the room, but the other man’s gaze betrays nothing. 

And then, finally, it is time to end the party. Alexander announces that there will be an afterparty at a certain nightclub. Cars start to pick up people. Slowly, too slowly, the guests start to leave. Alexander sends Kevin a text. “My room in half an hour. Up the stairs, first door on the right.” He starts to usher people out, telling them he will meet them at the nightclub. Of course, he has no intention of going. 

After an eternity, the last guests leave. Alexander walks up the stairs. Behind the door to his room he hesitates for a second. What if Kevin is not there? He can still go to the nightclub. But of course he will be there, why wouldn’t he? Who would not want to meet the lion of love, given the chance, he tells himself.

Alexander opens the door. And there is Kevin Swain, looking at some of the art pieces he has on the wall. Suddenly, he feels both relieved and oddly hesitant. He remembers how cold and reserved Kevin seemed earlier in the evening. 

“You are here”, he says.

“I am here”, Kevin assents.

His drinks table is next to Kevin. He walks over. “Would you like a drink?”

Kevin looks slightly amused. “I don’t know. Are we going to pretend that we are actually here to discuss something?”

That stress on the word discuss. It tells Alexander, that Kevin is definitely not here to discuss anything. Alexander smiles, walks over, raises his hand to caress Kevin’s cheek.

“We are alone now, Kevin. I don’t think we need to pretend anything anymore.”

And then Kevin kisses him, passionately. And suddenly the world is full of kissing and groping and panting and clothes that are very much on the way. And finally Alexander is sure, that he will get his prize tonight.

Afterwards, as they are lying on his bed, Alexander turns to look at Kevin. “I have missed this. I have missed you.”

And Kevin looks back at him, smiling, and for the first time that evening there is nothing reserved about his smile. “I have missed us, too.”

And as he watches Kevin drift off to sleep next to him, Alexander realizes that he feels happier and lighter than he has felt in months.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander thinks about what he wants from life, and comes up with a plan that may or may not include a certain creative director...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I wrote another chapter to Lion of Love, I decided to do the same here, as this is the same story but from Alexander's POV.

They have had a glorious week in Alexander’s palace. Alexander has naturally had press conferences, interviews, meetings, but other than that it has been just the two of them, alone, enjoying each other’s company. Yet, all through the week, Alexander has known that their time together is limited. That sooner or later he will have to return to Russia, at least temporarily, and put an end to this all. He is afraid the day is coming closer: his team and his manager start to be anxious, asking about his plans, pressuring him for answers. And now, he has finally agreed to have a meeting with them tomorrow, to discuss the next steps, the plans for the following weeks and beyond. 

He tells this to Kevin in the evening. “Oh, I actually also have a business lunch tomorrow,” he replies. “With some industry people.”

This shocks Alexander, even though it shouldn’t. Of course he knows that Kevin must have plans for the future as well. It would be a wonder if he hadn’t been contacted yet. He realizes that it is not only about his plans: Kevin could be gone any day, off to a new project. 

“Who is it for?”, he asks.

“I don’t know. They didn’t want to talk over the phone, they insisted on meeting first.”

They both know what this means. If it’s this secretive, it must be someone big. A household name. Hardly something to turn down. Alexander can suddenly feel Kevin slipping away from him already. When they have sex, he wonders if it’s the last time. Suddenly tomorrow seems like doomsday, getting inevitably closer every minute. 

Kevin falls asleep, but Alexander can’t find peace. He tosses and turns, tormented by his thoughts of what tomorrow will bring, the inevitable separation. He looks at the man sleeping next to him, his tall, lean figure under the sheets, thinks about his brown eyes and that sexy British accent. How Kevin is the only one who understands his passion for his career, and what it takes. Their long discussions. How they laugh together. The amazing sex.

He doesn’t want to wake Kevin up, so he gets up and walks downstairs. He pours himself a glass of whiskey, and sits on one of the brocade armchairs, looking at his Greek statues. Suddenly they feel somehow very vain, nonsensical. He wonders if in ten or twenty years he will still be sitting alone in this same armchair, with a glass of whiskey, looking at those statues that remind him of days past. More fans, maybe. More albums, hit singles, success, more money. Is that all there is? Will he become one of those aging pop-sensations on decline, with an alcohol or drug problem, surrounded by groupies that he has mindless sex with while snorting whatever? Maybe it’s his classical singer’s training, but he has never been into the drug-fuelled rock’n’roll lifestyle. He loves parties, yes, and meeting people. But why knowingly destroy your voice and your physique, your looks? Those are his best assets. 

He thinks about what is to come. A tour of Europe, finally. After years of waiting. Outside the confines of Mother Russia he can always be more free. But what does it mean this time? That he can visit gay clubs in London or Berlin, hook up with random men? That might have sounded exciting when he was younger, but now he realizes that he doesn’t see the appeal anymore. 

So, now that he has won Eurovision, is on the brink of European success, what does he really want? Is success in Europe, and maybe worldwide, the end goal, or a means to an end? He sips his whiskey, and a plan starts to form in his mind. It is still a very uncertain one, but it could work. 

***

“We need to talk.” He tries to get those words out of his mouth the whole morning, but somehow he doesn’t seem to be able to. Finally, as they are both heading out, he knows he must say something. 

”Kevin, I think we need to talk this evening.”

There’s an instant change in the atmosphere. Briefly, he catches a sad look in Kevin’s eyes. “Yes”, the other man answers, rather coldly, and nothing else. They each head out to their own appointments. 

His meeting is in the conference room of a luxury hotel. His manager is there, with his assistant. Some other members of the team. The publicist. His dancers: Dima, Aleksey, Artem, Kirill. They talk about upcoming press coverage, performances, interviews. And then, finally, the tour.

“I assume we use the same team, same director?”, the manager says. 

Alexander leans back in his chair. “No”, he says.

“No?”, the manager repeats, surprised.

“No. It is a European tour. We need someone more European. A visionary. Kevin Swain.”

“Kevin Swain…” The manager wiggles his pen between his fingers, thinking. “It’s going to be expensive.”

“Yes. But I want the best. We pay for the best.”

The manager leans back as well. “That could work.” He looks at his assistant. “Do we know if he’s available?”

“He is available”, Alexander says, hoping that it is true.

“I could call him now”, the assistant suggests. 

“No! No, I need to…sort something out first. Call him tomorrow.”

The assistant nods, makes a note in her calendar. They continue to discuss the details. 

“Okay, is there anything else?”, the manager asks. 

“Yes”, Alexander says. “The preparations for the tour, rehearsals, everything, will happen in Greece.”

“Greece?”, the manager raises his eyebrows. “Why Greece? We don’t have any contacts in Greece.”

“I do”, Alexander says. “It will start with an artistic retreat for me and Kevin Swain. Private island. Very inspiring location. We will plan everything together. Just the two of us. Very important for our cooperation.” He sees Dima and Aleksey exchange knowing glances. It doesn’t matter, they will know anyway, sooner or later. “The whole team will follow a couple of weeks later. We will prepare everything in Greece.”

In the end everyone agrees. They are used to Alexander’s eccentricities. He knows at least his dancers don’t mind. They are as happy as he is to get out of Russia occasionally. Now he will just need to convince the final piece of the puzzle, the most important one. 

Back at his palace he finds Kevin lounging on one of the sofas, looking at his phone. He stops at the doorway to the room. “Hey,” he says. “How was your lunch?”

“It was good.” Kevin does not get up to kiss him. There is no hint of flirtation in his voice. He seems reserved again, cold. Expressionless, as the British often are in emotional situations. Alexander is more used to the big emotions of the Russians. He wonders if he is about to be dumped. All his plans in vain.

“Did they…offer you a job?”, he asks.

“Yes. And they just sent it to me by email. It’s very good.”

Alexander is afraid to hear more. “Did you…accept it?”

“Not yet. I told them I’d think about it.”

What a relief. Maybe there is still a chance. He walks to the sofa slowly, sits down facing the other man. “Kevin, as I said in the morning, I think we need to talk.”

“Yes.” A very emotionless answer. This does not bode well, but Alexander has to say what he has come to say, nevertheless. He will never forgive himself if he doesn’t. He picks up Kevin’s hand in his.

“This is not easy for me. I don’t usually talk about these things.” This is true, he has never talked about his feelings towards another man. Kevin does not answer, but looks at him expectantly. 

And then Alexander starts. He talks about Budapest, how he thought it was all casual fun, but was not able to forget Kevin afterwards. How he tried everything to forget. How he didn’t even go to last year’s Eurovision, to make it easier for both of them. How Kevin was supposed to be in the US, and not in Edinburgh. And then, how they had flirted at the party, and it had all come back to him. How he thought they could have some fun for a few days, and then forget about each other, but he was wrong. And now, he wants to be with Kevin. He knows it will not be simple, but he wants to try. He wants him to direct the European tour, and to tour with him. They will start by going to Greece together. “What do you say? My people will call you tomorrow.”

Kevin stares at him, wordlessly. While he has talked, Kevin’s expression has changed, but Alexander can’t interpret what it means. He gets worried, very worried. Perhaps he has interpreted everything incorrectly? Will Kevin now say that casual fun was all he ever wanted, and walk out? Out of his life, forever this time?

“Kevin? Do you not want to?” He tries to make it sound light, hide the importance of those words. He fees like his whole life is hanging on the answer.

Kevin seems to wake up from some sort of a trance. “No! I mean, yes! I mean, Alex, this is the complete opposite of what I was expecting you to say! Just give me a second to sort out my thoughts.”

Kevin closes his eyes for a second. Then he starts to talk, saying that after Budapest he felt the same way. That he has tried to forget Alexander, has worked hard, has even tried other men, but they have not been him. 

“Of course not!”, Alexander can’t help quipping. But it is true! How could Kevin have found anyone like him?

Kevin continues. He hasn’t known that Alexander would be competing in Edinburgh, and when he heard, he is the reason he has accepted the job with Iceland. Alexander’s heart starts beating faster. This sounds promising. 

“And you flirted with me at your party, and I already thought it was going well, but then you… Ignored me?”

Alexander feels ashamed. He had indeed done that. Completely ignored Kevin for Sigrit. He answers with what he has since realized was the truth. “I know, I’m sorry, Kevin! I was scared of how happy I was to see you. It was safer to focus on my career, and forget about everything else.”

Kevin continues, saying that they have had a great time, and he has loved it, but he is now confused. “Are you offering me a job? Or a… relationship? Because if it’s just a job, if you think we can work together with some casual sex on the side, some sort of a friends with benefits arrangement… I don’t think I can do that. I don’t think I can ever be only casual with you again.”

Alexander is relieved. This is exactly what he has wanted to hear. “No, Kevin, no! I want to be with you. Together. You know it can’t be public, but in private all I want is you. Think about it, we will tour every European city together, stay in palaces and luxury hotels, make passionate love…”

Kevin is smiling now. “Alex, I don’t care about the palaces and luxury hotels, I only care about being with you.”

Alexander smirks. “And the passionate love-making?”, he teases.

Kevin laughs. “Yes, that too, you know that. Yes, Alex, let’s do this! Let’s at least try. Let’s go to Greece, let’s tour Europe, let’s be together! Yes, to all of it!”

Alexander’s heart is suddenly filled with joy. Kevin is not leaving him, they will be together! He leans forward to kiss Kevin. Tenderly, at first, and then more passionately. 

“Maybe we can start with the love-making?”, he whispers in Kevin’s ear.

Kevin kisses his neck, the way he likes him to. “That sounds like a good idea.”

***

Later they are lying in bed, side by side, basking in the afterglow. Alexander turns to his side, props his head up with his elbow.

“So, now you are my…” He traces his finger across Kevin’s bare chest. Kevin lifts his eyebrows questioningly. “…creative director.”, he finishes the sentence.

“Oh, is this how you recruit your creative directors?”, Kevin smiles. 

Alexander continues to trace patterns in Kevin’s chest. “Not always.”

“Not _always_?”

“I had a hot one once, in Budapest.” Alexander’s finger circles Kevin’s nipple. “Had to sleep with him. Couldn’t resist.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeees, very much my type. Tall, dark, handsome. Like you, maybe a couple of years younger.” He smirks and leans down to lightly kiss Kevin’s shoulder.

Kevin gives a low laugh. Alexander loves the sound of that. “So, what happened?”

Alexander stops the teasing, lays his palm flat on Kevin’s chest and looks into his brown eyes. “I was stupid. I let him go. He went to work for someone else. But…” He leans closer to nibble Kevin’s earlobe. “ _…you won’t get away this time_.”, he whispers, his hot breath in Kevin’s ear.

Kevin turns his head and looks at Alexander with a gaze that is soft and full of love. Then he pulls Alexander in for a hungry kiss. 

“You naughty boy!”, Alexander chuckles. “Do you ever think about anything except sex?”

Kevin seems to consider this for a second. “Not when I am with you.” 

“Understandable. I am very hot!”

“You are the hottest thing I have ever seen. And now I am going to make you roar.”

And he does exactly that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments would be appreciated!


End file.
